


I hate you, I hate you

by kyles_jewfro



Category: South Park
Genre: Cartman denies being gay every five seconds, Eric Cartman Being An Asshole, Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman, F/M, Gay, I suck at writing, Im highly embarassed about my writing skills, Jewfro, Kyles beautiful hair is mentioned alot, M/M, Questionably gay stuff, Shitty fanfic that no one should read, This fanfic needs jesus, i need jesus, please dont hate me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-23 20:03:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11996979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyles_jewfro/pseuds/kyles_jewfro
Summary: Cartman realizes something, and that something is that he loves Kyle.





	1. Kyle's curls

**Author's Note:**

> Oof, hi it's _kyles_jewfro_ from Instagram and I'm here to bring you shitty Kyman fics.

Cartman had always hated Kyle. It was no mystery or secret, everyone knew that Cartman hated Kyle. Cartman loved to tease and play pranks on Kyle, some were even planned out. You could say it's a little obsessive, how much Cartman focuses on Kyle. Sometimes Cartman found it addictive, the way Kyle's face would burn bright red with anger each time he would insult him. Cartman loved to watch as Kyle got more and more infuriated. Today, our dear Eric has something special planned, something he knew would bug Kyle like crazy...

It rained last night, pretty hard actually, which is just what he was hoping for. Heavy rain was a very important part of his plan. Cartman had even snuck out earlier to check and see if there was a puddle in front of his bus stop, and there was. His plan was going perfectly.

Cartman pulled on his red jacket, grabbed his book bag and walked out of his house. He walked to the bus stop where Stan, Kenny, and most importantly Kyle was waiting there. He walked up to them and said, "Hey Stan, hey Kenny." They all looked at Cartman as he approached them. Cartman walked over and stood next to Kyle. Cartman looked at Kyle and said, "Sup Jew?"

Kyle looked at him and rolled his eyes, "Hey Fatass". Cartman smirked and looked at the large puddle in front of them.

  _'_ _Everything is gonna be perfect.'_  Cartman thought. He looked at Kyle and prepared himself.  _'1..2..3!'_ At the end of 3 he snatched Kyle's hat off of his head.

"Hey!" Kyle shouted angrily. Cartman held the hat as high as he could. "Give it back fatass!" Kyle shouted as he attempted to grab his hat.

Cartman moved the hat away from him and grabbed one of his hands, "You want me to let go of your hat, Jew?" Cartman said teasingly.

"Yes!" Kyle yelled angrily.

Cartman shrugged and said, "Okay" and dropped Kyle's hat into the puddle. Kyle watched angrily as his hat soaked up more and more water.

Kyle picked up his wet hat and turned to face Cartman, "WHAT THE FUCK FATASS?!" Kyle yelled, his face as red as his firey red curls.

Cartman smirked and shrugged, "You told me to let go of your hat, and I did."

Kyle got even more infuriated, "YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I MEANT GIVE IT BACK TO ME, NOT DROP IT IN THE FUCKING PUDDLE, YOU DIPSHIT!"

Cartman smirked and said, "Well maybe you should be more specific next time Kyle~"  Kyle clenched his fists and looked like a volcano about to erupt.

Stan walked up behind Kyle and said, "Dude stop, yelling at him won't make things any better and it won't dry your hat either. Your hat should be dry by the end if the day anyways Kyle, don't worry." Kyle looked at Stan and sighed. Kyle squeezed some of the excess water out of his hat and turned away from Cartman.

Cartman pouted slightly and thought,  _'What the fuck Stan? Kyle was so fucking angry and you just calmed him down? I was looking forward to watching Kyle's face get as red as his beautiful red- wait what the fuck did I just think? Did I seriously just use beautiful to describe that gross ginger hair? Whatever, at least Kyle's gross jewfro is exposed and he has to deal with people looking at it all day. I can tease him later about it.'_

They all waited in silence until the bus pulled up and they all climbed in, one by one. As Kyle walked to his normal seat on the bus, he felt the eyes of the other students on him. He immediately knew that they were all staring at his bright red jewfro.

  _'God, they're all looking at my hair aren't they? That fucking fatass, why does he always do this to me?'_ Kyle thought. He sat in his seat and sighed.

Stan sat next to him and said, "Dude are you really that upset about your hat? It's gonna dry soon."

Kyle rolled his eyes at Stan, "It's not my fucking hat that I care about, it's my dumb ass hair."

Stan looked at his hair and said, "It's not that bad dude, just try to forget about it."

Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration and muttered, "God I just want this fucking day to be over."

Cartman smirked to himself about his success. He could see Kyle leaning against the window of the seat in front of him, clearly upset about his curly red hair being exposed. Kenny looked over at Cartman and saw his smirk.

"Are you seriously that happy about Kyle's hair?" Kenny asked in his muffled voice.

Cartman looked at Kenny, who was sitting next to him, "Of course I'm not happy about his hair, Kenny. I think it's absolutely disgusting, but I know how much Kyle hates his hair and I'm using that to my advantage."

Kenny rolled his eyes and said, "Yup, we all know how much of a boner you have for embarrassing Kyle."

Cartman glared at Kenny and said, "I do not have a boner for embarrassing Kyle, I just really enjoy watching him suffer."

Kenny rolled his eyes again and muttered, "Sounds like a boner to me".

Cartman crossed his arms and thought,  _'Goddamnit Kenny, you poor asshole. Anyways I should probably think about what I'm going to do at school, I'll probably tease Kyle some more about his hair. Those gorgeous curls- wait, fuck I really need to stop doing that...'_


	2. Kyle's hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle is upset about his hair being exposed and Cartman goes a bit too far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos! Leave a comment telling me what you think about my story so far.

When the bus pulled up in front of the school, all the students got out and walked into school. Kyle walked through the halls on his way to his locker. He felt the eyes of the other students staring at him. Kyle knew they were all staring at his big, red jewfro. The students were used to seeing Kyle with his usual green hat on, so they were surprised to see his messy curls. Kyle blushed in embarrassment.  _'They're all staring at me, aren't they? This is all Cartman's fault! Why can't he just leave me alone for once?!'_ Kyle thought. Kyle walked over to his locker and put in his combination. As Kyle opened his locker, Butters walked over with his usual smile on his face.

"Hiya Kyle!" Butters said happily.

Kyle looked at Butters and replied, "Hey Butters."

Butters looked at Kyle with a curious look on his face. "Hey Kyle, why aren't you wearin' your hat today?"

Kyle sighed and said, "Fatass threw it in a puddle, so now it's soaked and I can't wear it."

"Aw, well I'm sure Eric didn't mean to." Butters said. Kyle gave Butters an 'are you serious' look. Butters chuckled nervously and said, "Okay, well maybe it was on purpose, but still. Anyways, I have to get to class now, see ya Kyle!" Butters then walked away, still smiling.

Kyle sighed and walked into the bathroom. He walked over to the mirror and ran his fingers through his hair.  _'_ _God, it's so messy, and why did I have to be born with bright red hair? Why couldn't I have gotten my dad's hair color?'_ Kyle looked at his appearance and sighed.  _'I look terrible, maybe I should dye my hair or something, at least my hair would be a less obnoxious color.'_ Kyle heard the sound of a stall door opening. He looked at the stall and saw Cartman walk out of it.  _'Jesus fucking Christ. Out of everyone to be alone with right now, why him?!'_ Cartman saw Kyle looking in the mirror and smirked.

He walked up to Kyle and said, "Heeeeeyyy Kyle~"

Kyle sighed angrily and said, "Fuck off Fatass."

Cartman feigned offense and put his hand over his chest. "What strong language Kyle! So rude, I was just coming over to say hi!" Kyle rolled his eyes.

Cartman smirked, "So what were you doing in the mirror Kyle?" Kyle looked away from him and ignored him.

Cartman's smirk faded.  _'How dare he ignore me! You beaut- dumb Jew, you  **will** pay attention to me.' _Cartman thought. "Were you staring at your disgusting hair again? Or were you just staring at how ugly you were overall?" Kyle gritted his teeth and growled quietly.

Cartman's smirk returned.  _'It looks like I'm getting to him, this is perfect.'_ "You seem to be getting upset Kyle, but I'd be upset too if I had ugly bright red hair, and that's not even the worst of it, it's also curly Jewish hair too, just like your big dumb Jew nose." Kyle's face was bright red with anger at this point. He turned around and smacked Cartman in the face as hard as he could. Cartman yelped, "Ow!" Kyle walked out the bathroom angrily and walked to class.

Cartman's cheek stung like hell and had a bright red handprint on it. _'What the fuck Kyle?!'_ he thought. Tears started to form in his eyes.  _'That...really hurt.'_ A few tears ran down his face. The warmth of the tears only made his cheek sting worse. Cartman looked at his reflection in the mirror.  _'Fuck, I look so weak right now.'_ Cartman wiped his tears away gently, avoiding his cheek, and walked to the nurse.

At the nurses office, Cartman was given a bag of ice to put on his face. Cartman shivered at the feeling of the cold ice on his face. The nurse wrote him a pass and told him to go to his classroom. Cartman walked out of the nurses office and through the Hall to his class. He opened the door and walked in. The class looked at him as he walked over to Mr.Garrison's desk and put his hall pass on it. Cartman then walked over to his seat and sat down.

Kyle looked over at Cartman, who sat in the seat next to him.  _'Jeez, he looks pretty upset...'_ he thought. Kyle noticed Cartman's upset expression and his bright red cheeks.  _'But he deserved it...right..?'_ Upon closer inspection, Kyle noticed the redness of Cartman's eyes and-  _'Was he...crying?'_


End file.
